MANAGING EVERYDAY DISTRESS

    Almost everyone talks about stress but very few people know why we have stress!

                Distress is aroused in us to take charge of the demands made on us either from within or from outside us.  Whenever we are in difficulty, we need extra energy.  Distress is produced to supply that extra energy, which can be used as a flight or fight response.

                Rather than considering distress negatively, as most people do, we have to take it positively. This enemy comes from within ourselves and attacking it leads to our destruction.

                Do we need stress in a normal environment? This is the question we should ask before we get into managing it?

                We are distressed at home, at school, when doing homework, during exams, at the workplace, etc. This stress comes because we are expected to perform at a higher level than our resources permit us.

                Let us say we can jump two feet and suddenly someone tells us to jump five feet, and we are in distress. Rather than trying to jump five feet immediately, we should start working on increasing our capability.

                The following pointers help you in managing your everyday stresses.

1. Proper Planning

1. Try to think logically and work backward so that your planning for a task is more objective.
2. Do not give in to emotions.
3. Set smaller goals and make sure that these goals lead you to the major goal.
4. The more goals you have every day, the better it is for you.
5. Always have an alternate plan when things don’t work as expected.
6. Make sure the resources are amenable to reaching your goal and accessible when needed.
7. Plan keeping in mind the resources available to you.
8. Create support systems.

2. Goal Orientation

1. Every effort you put in should be towards reaching the goal.
2. Do not start anything without an identifiable goal.
3. Your goal-directed behavior should be specific and objective.
4. Ensure that there are no lacunae in the skills necessary for achieving the goal.
5. Try to pick up and refine the skills.
6. Do not borrow goals from others.
7. Establish ownership over the task at hand.
8. Every goal should be backed up by the corresponding need or want.

        3. Increase Efficiency

1. Two measures of efficiency are speed and accuracy.
2. Whatever we do daily, we must learn to do it faster and with greater accuracy.
3. Our tasks should be completed as fast as possible and with 100% accuracy.
4. We may not be able to achieve this in the first attempt itself but this is the essence of the practice.
5. Suppose we take half an hour to write a letter, we should find out how to reduce the time.
6. Making a mistake takes less time than correcting it.
7. If in every attempt we can make fewer mistakes, then we have saved a lot of time and effort.
8. Once greater accuracy is acquired, we should work on increasing our speed.

4. Focus on the task

1. Whatever distractions are there, do not surrender to them.
2. All your energies should be focused on achieving the goals.
3. Sometimes the task becomes difficult or time-consuming.
4. Rather than brooding over them, try to see how to overcome the barriers.
5. Identify the obstacles accurately, and try to deal with them objectively.
6. Do not stack up too many goals at any given point in time.
7. Whenever there is a distraction, try to chase it away rather than avoid it.
8. The greater the focus, the higher will be your achievement.

5. Befriend the threat

1. Be adventurous!
2. Take the threat as a challenge that will enhance your abilities rather than thinking that it is going to make a failure out of you.
3. Suppose you have stage fear and suddenly you are told to give a speech.
4. Initially, all sorts of negative thoughts come to you and you are certain that you will fail.
5. This is because you are taking this situation as a threat.
6. On the other hand, take this situation as an opportunity and consider the advantage of having a chance to measure your capability.
7. Tell yourself, “Let me see how much I can do. If I fail in my attempt, at least I will know where and how I have failed”.
8. Such a change in your outlook reduces your fear considerably and you will be able to perform much better than you can imagine!

6. Collate Resources

1. Increase your internal and/or external resources by collating them.
2. Sometimes one or more of our abilities may facilitate another related ability!
3. By collating them together we have a stronger ability.
4. We are in distress because we fall short of our abilities to fulfill a given task.
5. Mobilizing resources helps in overcoming this problem and thus distress is reduced.
6. For instance, if you are good at acting, you can use this ability to become a good orator.
7. However, you need to use caution when you collate resources.
8. When you combine unrelated resources, it may hinder your performance.

7. Engage in Positive Thinking

1. How you think about the task at hand makes all the difference in tackling stress.
2. Suppose you are climbing a hill and you think negatively!
3. You will have to struggle so much to reach the top and your stress is also going to be negative (distress).
4. The consequences are, that you will feel tired and exhausted after the climb, and you do not want to continue anymore.
5. On the other hand, when you start enjoying climbing, your stress will also become positive and the ill effects of stress will not be there.
6. The same thought that produces "it is not possible" can also produce the thought "let me try".
7. Negative thoughts come automatically, whereas we need to put effort into thinking positively.
8. Challenge every negative thought with a 'why' and follow it up with an opposing thought.

8. Overcome Fear of Failure

1. Our stress increases when we have negative expectations about ourselves and others.
2. For instance, you might think that you will do badly on a task; others will laugh at you; others may look down upon you.
3. This fear of failure may make you either avoid doing the task or fail in it.
4. All you need to do is take it as a challenge and be ready to face the consequences of failure.
5. If you can tell yourself that even if you fail now you can still do better in your next attempt, then your fear will be reduced.
6. More than the fear of failure the fear of success may haunt you.
7. You may be afraid of increasing others' expectations.
8. Try to think logically and realistically to remove the fears.

9. Learn to relax

1. Develop past-time activities that help you to relax.
2. Any physical activity like playing games or sports, walking, skipping, swimming, etc. can relax you, provided you are not doing these as part of a competition.
3. In addition, cultivating hobbies like singing, dancing, yoga, knitting, drawing, painting, collecting stamps or coins, etc. will also give you a lot of relaxation.
4. Understand this state of relaxation and try to achieve it even when you are taking up a stressful activity.
5. The more you are tensed up, the lesser will be your performance, and vice versa.
6. Relaxation enables you to achieve the task with greater efficiency and provides satisfaction during and after the performance.
7. As pointed out elsewhere, relaxation is not the same as happiness.
8. Learning to relax will not only help you in reducing distress but also in achieving neustress.

10. Create internal reward systems

1. After the completion of the task, try to evolve internal reward systems.
2. Do not wait for encouragement or support from others.
3. The advantage of internal reward is it doesn’t cost anything.
4. Be happy that you have done something worthwhile.
5. Feel the sense of accomplishment.
6. Do not try to poke holes in your performance.
7. Try to consider it as a stage in the completion of a process.
8. Make amends to increase your self-worth, self-confidence, and self-satisfaction.

In short, develop a workable plan without losing your focus on the goal.

Identify shortcomings in yourself and try to work on skill-building.

Identify internal and external barriers towards the goal.

Collate internal and external resources.

Engage in positive thinking, overcome the fear of failure, and learn to relax.

Give credit to your achievements by creating internal reward systems.

Ensure that distress does not rule over you, by managing it effectively.

Types of Distress and how to overcome them?

MANAGE STRESS

   64 NAVA VIDYA or 64 NEW SKILLS  

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