How can we choose to remember when others have control over our memory?

        I started "Memory Clinic" almost 20 years ago with a simple purpose: Is it possible to regulate the memory process?

It is not merely that the children should use memory and concentration in school but all beings who are alive.

With animals and plants, memory serves the purpose of survival. Only by remembering the availability of food and the threat to survival can the species thrive.

With humans, such memory is irrelevant and we need to remember things that are not directly related to either food or survival.

Thousands of people, both students, and adults have asked me why they are not able to remember and concentrate.

The answer is simple:

THEIR MEMORY IS CLOUDED BY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AND THESE DISTRACT THEM WHEN THEY TRY TO CONCENTRATE.

As Psychologists, our job is not merely to understand the process of memory but to guide people to regulate their memory.

Imagine a student going to an exam or a candidate going to an interview. Their performance depends upon their memory. The negative thoughts about themselves they carry overweigh their positive thoughts.

We always remember our failures, disappointments, losses, rejections, etc. rather than those happy moments in our life!

How can we choose to remember?  By deliberately removing the cobwebs that have accumulated over time.

Removing Biases

Somehow, we would have picked up an inclination towards some ideas, beliefs, groups, people, nationality, etc. We prefer some people over others. We think some ideas to be always wrong. This inclination neither has any rational basis nor are they derived from analytical thinking.

However, they affect our behavior very strongly. We think our biases are justified because most people around us also think so. If we encounter someone who doesn’t believe in it, we reject them rather than trying to find out their point of view. We always remember what we have been told.

E.g., Educated people are intelligent.

Removing Prejudices

Prejudices are opinions backed by unreasonable thoughts about a particular group of people. Prejudices can be against gender, age, nationality, religion, or race.

Prejudices have resulted in a lot of death and destruction both in the past as well as in the present. Millions of people all over the globe have been butchered merely to justify their prejudices. We always remember what we have been told.

E.g., Students who are good at sports are below average in their studies.

Removing Stereotypes

Another similar concept is stereotyping which means that we attribute certain characteristics to a group of people.

Whenever we find a person belonging to a group, which we have stereotyped, we automatically attribute those set characteristics to that individual, whether or not the individual behaves differently. We always remember what we have been told.

E.g., Rank holders have no social life.

Modifying Opinions

Most of our opinions are borrowed. We don’t think through it because it affects our relationships with our relatives and friends. We always remember what we have been told.

E.g., Expensive schools and colleges provide good education.

Rethinking Beliefs

Several similar opinions are clubbed together to form a belief. Beliefs are far stronger than opinions. Many people believe that their beliefs are justified and do not question them. Beliefs have destroyed billions of people but they don’t have a clue. We always remember what we have been told.

E.g., Only educated people are successful.

Changing Attitudes

Attitudes are stronger than all the others we have considered so far. It is a combination of several biases, prejudices, stereotypes, opinions, and beliefs. Our thoughts, emotions, and actions are influenced by our attitudes. We don’t want to change our attitudes mainly because of cognitive dissonance. Changing attitude means changing all the other things above. We always remember what we have been told and hence, it becomes very difficult to change them.

E.g., Social science subjects are so easy that anyone can be successful.

We need to reconsider all these before we embark on conquering our memory. If at all we remember only what we have been told, is there a place for original thinking? The purpose of education is to empower you with thinking faculties. Let’s put our education to better use.

Memory Clinic is not only to improve our memory but also to lose our unwanted memories.

Wouldn't this be a better place to live when we have more positive thoughts and emotions in our daily life?

Please respond with your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section below.

SAVE AND SCORE