Online Privacy for Kids

My friend was really worried. He was not able to sit in one place and could not attend to any task. I had seen the signs of stress in him earlier but the situation now seemed out of control. After asking him several times, he revealed the magnitude of the problem that faced him.

He said he was receiving too many letters, phone calls, text messages, and e-mails. Some offered him prizes, a few said he had won the lottery, and a few others were threatening him with dire consequences if he did not reply to the correspondence. He would not have worried too much had they been merely sales letters. The majority of these communications had his complete residential address, his landline phone number, details about how many children he had, where he and his wife worked, and several other personal details. Some even claimed that he was referred by a mutual friend. No wonder he acted paranoid. I would have been worried, too, had I been in his place.

He had enquired with all his regular acquaintances and drew a blank. While discussing his predicament I found out that his 12-year-old son used the internet quite frequently. The moment my friend came to know about the cause, he rang up his home and started screaming at his son.

Instead of locking the doors after the robbers have swept the house, it is better to take precautionary measures. All parents must know about the privacy laws so that they can talk to their kids about ensuring privacy.

The Federal Trade Commission has clearly outlined several rules and regulations for parents, children, and website operators about collecting information online. This law was started in April 2000 and it is applicable not only in the US but all over the world.

The parent’s role is to have a clear understanding of the privacy policies of the websites. Almost all websites, especially when they collect online personal information from children, instruct children below 13 years that they must obtain parental consent. Sometimes, kids may be afraid or reluctant to discuss with their parents. Such apprehension gives rise to revealing information indiscriminately.

We always seek shortcuts to solve problems. However, life has no shortcuts! When children lose trust in us they tend to hide things from us. They are not very sure of how we would react, what we would do, and why we would refuse what they want. This not only applies to their online behavior but also to their whole life.

Whenever we talk to children, we tend to be telling them what they should do or not do. We rarely tell them why! In case we do so, we over-explain. We give them a picture of what we expect from them rather than what is necessary for them.

My friend was no exception. After cajoling him to stop screaming over the cell phone, I explained to my friend that his action would increase the incidence of his son keeping things away from him. The best thing for him to do was to regain the trust of his son, show his kid a few websites that tell about privacy policies specifically for children, and allow the child some liberty to access information online.

Regaining the trust can be ensured in the following ways.

Allow the child to make decisions.

Do not make decisions on behalf of the child. The child, irrespective of one’s age, must feel responsible for their actions. When we explain the pros and cons of an action and let the child decide, invariably the child makes a desirable decision. Once the choice is made, the child also takes responsibility.

Accept the child’s need to explore the adult world.

Accept that the child is intelligent and capable. The child may not be as experienced as we are but the child needs to learn. When we give free advice to children, we rarely remember that such advice has no value. Children do not learn from what we tell them but from what we do.

Make the children accountable for their actions.

No one wants to fail. This applies to children, too. If children feel that their security is threatened, they will certainly take precautions to protect themselves. On the other hand, if a parent communicates as if he or she is going to lose, children inadvertently choose to be careless.

Do not instruct the child on the dos and don’ts.

A child gets a different, sometimes contradictory, message when we comment upon what they should do or not do. They feel they are being rejected. In turn, they think it is comfortable to reject the parent rather than obey the instructions.

Be consistent and predictable in your thoughts and actions.

Children are always smarter than adults. They are capable of better observations. Their ability to imitate is highly tuned. When we become inconsistent and unpredictable, children invariably copy such behavior.

Several separate websites are available for kids that instruct them on what they should do or not do when they are online. Kids tend to follow the rules and regulations that come directly from a neutral source than when it is told by parents. All someone should do is guide the child to explore such sites before taking them onto the internet.

The following video provides an overview of what children should do to protect their privacy.